The three (3) most troublesome Personal Disorders, being Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD); Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and; Anti-Social Personality Disorder (APD were thoroughly discussed in my previous blog post on the subject. Given the tremendous impact on the toxicity of these persons in our personal life, are there ways to deal with them?
3 Important Pointers
According to Dr. Ruthie O Grant in her book “People To Be Aware Of: 2010 Ways To Identify Toxic People And How To Deal With Them,” it is important not to play therapist with a toxic person. Avoid deluding yourself into thinking that you can rescue this person by parenting him or her. Below are the three (3) general dependable tips on how to deal with persons with toxic personality:
1. Communicate openly and clearly (in writing if necessary) that unacceptable behavior will not be tolerated and that it has definite consequences. However, if a person of this kind inflicts any harm to you, either physically or psychologically, make concrete actions for him/her to realize the consequences of his/her actions because “toxic people may be motivated to change if there is meaningful consequence to their bad behavior.”
2. Disassociate from toxic personalities if they continue the harmful or hurtful behavior while refusing to seek help or to help themselves. Isolating toxic people is a powerful tool for getting them to modify their behavior since they fear abandonment by those they abuse or misuse. Moreover, they loathe anything that looks like personal rejection.
3. Be prepared for passive-aggressive behavior or vindictiveness when you reject or refuse to allow toxic personalities to have their way. They are famous for telling lies or half-truths designed to defame, sabotage, isolate, or turn others against you. The key is not to show fear because they feed off of anything that makes them feel as if they have the upper hand. When trying to get a personality disorder out of your life, do not return phone call and text messages and ignore emails or attempts to make contact. Be courageous and fearless by not bowing down to threats of physical violence; they will not expect you to stand up for yourself because they are accustomed to being bullies and getting their way to threats and intimidation.
Candidly, the above pieces of advice are truly very powerful. I have followed those tips to the letter myself against narcissistic persons who had been bullying me psychologically for quite sometime. And believe me, it really worked! Precisely, I succeeded in doing so because the said persons are not in any way related to me. But, dealing with a toxic person who is an employee, a boy/girl friend or spouse, a child or a close relative is another story which I shall discuss in my next blog post on the matter.